mojocaster
09-30-2008, 09:17 AM
1.. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,
California, would-be robber James Elliot did some
thing that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time
it worked.
2.. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in
a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping
around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3.. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space
for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned
with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4.. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients
he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
5.. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering
from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before
he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill
on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked
for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...
$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?]
7.. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through
a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
8.. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9.. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him
down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY
AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a
very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
your friends and family... unless of course one of these
individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost
friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they
remain lost.
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,
California, would-be robber James Elliot did some
thing that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time
it worked.
2.. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in
a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping
around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3.. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space
for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned
with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4.. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients
he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
5.. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering
from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before
he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill
on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked
for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...
$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?]
7.. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through
a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
8.. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9.. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him
down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY
AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a
very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
your friends and family... unless of course one of these
individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost
friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they
remain lost.